A few weeks ago, I featured the clerihew, a form of nonsense verse invented 125 years ago by Edmund Clerihew Bentley (1875-1956). The clerihew (usually lowercased) is a whimsical, pseudo-biographical quatrain (four lines) rhymed (often outrageously) as two couplets with short, pithy lines of uneven length and meter. The name of the individual who is the subject of the quatrain usually supplies the first line.
I invited you. my verbivorous readers, to submit your original verses, and more than a 125 cleverly comical clerihews poured in, the most popular personages therein being Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump and Barack Obama.
Based on the dexterity of the rhymes, insight of the humor and impact of the last line, I award signed copies of my nonsense book “Monsters Unchained!” to three readers who raised an ear-catching clerihew and cry:
Donald Trump
Is going on the stump,
His speeches cartoonish,
His hair baboonish.
—Eric Gibson, Bay Park
*****
The septuagenarian Rolling Stones
Are long in the teeth and creaky in bones.
You would think dancing to “Satisfaction”
Would put Mick Jagger in traction.
—Dennis Kitchell, Spring Valley
*****
Will Shakespeare,
It’s quite clear,
Was a bard and a scholar
And a tough act to foller.
—Lyn Lake, Carlsbad
And honorable mention to all:
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Certainly seems bent on
Living again in the White House,
Making Bill the First Spouse.
—Marsha Harden, San Marcos
*****
President Barack Obama’s
Had his full share of dramas.
Gridlock, shootings, wars and ISIS
Every week another crisis.
—Linda P. Hughes, Lakeside
*****
Esteemed newsman Brian Williams
Told a lie, offended millions.
He said his plane was hit by flak,
And started his own career attack.
—Gail Shatsky, University City
*****
Gourmet cook Wolfgang Puck
Serves up a savory Peking duck.
But unless you have lots of pennies,
Better plan to eat at Denny’s.
—John Gross, Carlsbad
*****
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Practiced on the cello;
His neighbor sent him a letter:
“Writing poetry would be better!”
—May Reeves, Oceanside
*****
Fortunate Bud Black
Should run and never look back.
He managed a team so lacking
That his merciful bosses sent him packing.
—Tracy Fox, Del Cerro
*****
A-Rod, the disgraced Yankee,
Has confessed to hanky-panky.
Sadly, his affinity for steroids,
Caused him more pain than his hemorrhoids.
—Jim Dela Rosa, Bay Park
*****
Captain James Kirk
Had plenty of space in which to work.
No one was braver or cleverer than
This most Enterprising young man.
—Terry Miller, Escondido
*****
Young Humphrey Bogart
Was driving a go-kart.
He was yet too small
To be seen with Bacall.
—Fred Shatsky, University City
And a special honorable mention to Luisa Larson, of La Jolla, who at the age of 98½ winged me this:
Bruce Caitlyn Jenner
Evolved from bass to tenor.
His triumphs Olympic
Trump her body terrific.