A stroodle is “the annoying piece of cheese stretching from a slice of hot pizza to one’s mouth.” A mustgo is “any item of food that has been sitting in the refrigerator so long it has become a science project.” And an ignosecond is “that overlapping moment when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain is saying, ‘My keys are in there!’”
These are three examples of the weirdly incisive world of Sniglets, the Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time Dictionary created by comedian Rich Hall 30 years ago. Hall defines a sniglet as “any word that doesn’t appear in a dictionary, but should.”
Two weeks ago, I invited you to submit your original sniglets, and more than 130 sprightly specimens landed in my email box. Using the criteria of ingenuity in forming the headword and the humor and life illumination of the definition, I have chosen three winning contestants, each of whom will receive a signed and inscribed copy of my new book, “Lederer on Language.”
- puff puppies. the wispy accumulations of dog hair on the floor that resemble dust bunnies. popduds. the unpopped corn kernels left at the bottom of your microwave popcorn bag. lipstuck. the lipstick print on your wine glass. — Gail Rosemeyer, Carlsbad
- sweatstache. the beads of sweat that form on your upper lip when your salsa is a tad too warm. gashole. the person who fails to pull to the forward pump when refueling. — Debi Buchanan, Fashion Hills
- blueper. embarrassing momentary sighting of adult content when channel surfing premium cable channels in family company. escalexia. stumbling attempt to take first steps up on a stopped escalator. cellupedia. the aimless meandering of a cellphone talker in intense conversation. — Bradford Bruce, San Diego
And honorable mention to all:
- syruptitious. sneaking more flavoring on your waffle — Doug Keeling, Oceanside
- adictaphone. a mobile device that is being overused, to the exclusion of all else. — Alicia M. Lafferty, Carlsbad
- emailancholy. the dejection you experience when you open your email inbox and there is nothing there. — Steve Holder, College Area
- cellnesia. the malady whereby you need to call your cellphone in order to find it, hoping it isn’t turned off or battery dead. — Nancy Britt, Lakeside
- sickopants. those slavish acolytes of politicians or celebrities who willingly tolerate or enjoy sexual harassment by their idols. — Rick Marrone, Scripps Ranch
- muttchkin. a tiny toy terrier of questionable ancestry. — Dave & Janel Roti, Poway
- adsnot. the clear, elastic, squishy material used to seal junk mail fliers and to adhere sample credit cards to bank advertising. — Salvatore Scafidi, Mission Hills
- tripblock. the bar of concrete that cars pull up to in a parking space and that pedestrians inevitably stumble over. — Eric Taylor, Hillcrest
- press-one-itis. the sore finger you get trying to reach a real person on the phone. — Joan Bryant, Coronado
- snortgust. the act of inadvertently snorting liquid, such as milk, into one’s nose while drinking it. — Jeanne Cherbeneau, La Jolla
- teendenytis. a characteristic of your 16-year-old, who forgot to refill your gas tank, or who “didn’t” put that ding in your new car. — May Reeves, Oceanside
- Orfful. the contemplation of sitting through a production of Carmina Burana. — Kate Baker Tilton, Poway
- lateitude. A snarky excuse for one’s tardiness. — Annette Williams, Ramona
- box sloth. a person who searches through every movie title at a DVD vending machine, no matter how many people are waiting in line behind them. — Shawn Murphy, San Diego
- flitter. the mysterious debris that flies out of the bed of a pick-up truck and swirls down the freeway. — Ned Paterson, Carlsbad
- squinthogs. people who fail to turn down their high beams when driving at night, blinding the oncoming traffic. — Kelley Dupuis, Chula Vista
- grammo. a violation of the rules of grammar, on the order of typo. — Woody Wilson, Del Mar
Please send your questions and comments about language to richard.lederer@utsandiego.com