Welcome to the website woven for wordaholics, logolepts, and verbivores. Carnivores eat meat; herbivores eat plants and vegetables; verbivores devour words. If you are heels over head (as well as head over heels) in love with words, tarry here a while to graze or, perhaps, feast on the English language. Ours is the only language in which you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway and your nose can run and your feet can smell.

humor

 

Many of us attend conferences, parties and other gatherings where we are asked to wear name tags that say, “Hello, I’m _____.” Here’s a punderful game that takes those badges to the limit. The object is to match a real first name with a real job to spark a punny connection, as in “My name is Cole, and I’m a miner.”

            Hello, my name is . . .

  •  Barb, and I sell wire. Bo, and I’m an archer. Booker, and I’m a travel agent. Brandon, and I’m a cattle rancher. Carol, and I compose Christmas songs. Carrie, and I’m a porter. Clay, and I make pottery. Cookie, and I’m a baker. Dean, and I’m a college chancellor. Derrick, and I drill for oil. Dick, and I’m a detective. Dustin, and I clean houses.
  • Gene, and I’m a DNA researcher. Homer, and I’m a baseball player. Jim, and I train boxers. Manuel, and I write instruction books. Marcus, and I’m a teacher. Marshall, and I’m a peace officer. Marion, and I’m a justice of the peace. Matt, and I sell rugs. Mike, and I’m an announcer. Miles, and I run marathons.
  • Ophelia, and I’m a masseuse. Pat, and I work in airport security. Trixie, and I’m a magician.

Even more spectacular are serial puns on names and professions. Hello, our names are . . .

  •  Abbott, Abby, Angel, Charity, Chastity, Christian, Faith, Grace, Hope, Mercy, Neal and Temple, and we’re servants of the church. Ace, Bette, Delia and Chip, and we work in a casino. Adele, Barney and Timothy, and we’re farmers. Alexis, Axel, Cab, Carmen, Chevy, Jack, Mercedes, Otto, Phillip, Portia and Van, and we work on cars.
  • Amber, Crystal, Goldie, Jade, Jasper, Jules, Opal, Pearl, Ring, Ruby and Sapphire, and we’re jewelers. Annette, Bob, Brooke, Doc, Eddie, Finn, Gil, Marina, Piers, Rod and Rowan, and we’re fisherpeople. April, August, May, June, Summer and Tuesday, and we make calendars. Art, Dot, Drew, Garrett and Hugh, and we’re painters. Arthur and Page, and we’re writers.
  • Baron, Duke, Earl and Gaylord, and we’re noblemen. Barry, Di, Doug and Paul, and we’re undertakers. Basil, Clive, Ginger, Herb, Rosemary and Sage, and we’re chefs. Bea, Buzz, Honey, Midge and Nat and we’re entomologists. Belle and Isabel, and we play the carillon. Bertha, Spike and Ty, and we work on a railroad. Bill, Buck and Penny, and we work at the mint.
  • Bing, Cherry, Peaches and Melanie, and we sell fruit. Blossom, Bud, Daisy, Fern, Flora, Heather, Holly, Iris, Ivy, Jasmine, Lily, Pansy, Petunia, Posey, Rose and Violet, and we’re horticulturalists. Branch, Forest, Hugh, Leif, Myrtle, Twiggy and Woody, and we’re lumberjacks. Brandy, Olive, Marguerita and Sherry, and we’re bartenders. Bunny and Warren, and we raise rabbits.
  • Candy, Carmela, Lolly and Sugar, and we’re confectioners. Chick and Henny, and we raise poultry. Colt and Winnie, and we ride horses. Chuck, Frank, Ham and Stu, and we’re butchers.CiCi and Seymour, and we’re opticians. Claude and Rory, and we’re lion tamers. Cliff, Craig and Rocky, and we’re mountaineers. Colt and Winnie, and we ride horses. Crane, Jay, Martin, Raven, Rhea, Robin and Wren, and we raise birds.
  • Dale, Glen. Heath and Meadow, and we sell country real estate. Dawn, Dewey, Gail, Hale, Misty, Sky, Sunny and Storm, and we’re meteorologists. Emory, Hans and Philo, and we’re manicurists. Fanny, Lena, Les and Skip, and we’re weight-loss counselors. Flip and Patty, and we cook hamburgers. Flo, John, Lou, Lulu and Piper, and we’re plumbers.
  • Harper, Lute, Melody and Viola, and we’re musicians. Helmut, Lance and Pierce, and we’re knights. Hunter and Lionel, and we lead safaris. Ira and Rich, and we’re investment advisers. Josh, Smiley and Whit, and we’re comedians. Jupiter, Starr and Venus, and we’re astronomers.
  • Kitty and Tom, and we raise cats. Laurel, Victor, Vi and Wynne, and we’re Olympic champions. Lacey, Levi, Serge and Taylor, and we sell clothing. Michelle, Sandy, Shelly and Wade, and we’re lifeguards at the beach. Moe and Pete, and we take care of lawns. Newt and Tad, and we study amphibians. Rex and Rusty, and we own a junkyard. Sue and Will, and we’re lawyers.