Welcome to the website woven for wordaholics, logolepts, and verbivores. Carnivores eat meat; herbivores eat plants and vegetables; verbivores devour words. If you are heels over head (as well as head over heels) in love with words, tarry here a while to graze or, perhaps, feast on the English language. Ours is the only language in which you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway and your nose can run and your feet can smell.


Old punsters never die — they just go to their reword. My recent column on “Old soldiers never die — they just fade away” inspired a number of punderful flights that take off from Gen. Douglas MacArthur’s immortal farewell. Here are some of the best, with the writers’ names in alphabetical order:

Old Elvis impersonators never die — they just leave the building — Christine Breed

Old naval officers never die — they just get a little dinghy. — David Clark

Old movie stars never die — they just end up on the cutting room floor. — Eloise Franks

Old mediums never die — they just give up the ghost. — Ellen Meier

Old bell ringers never die; they just get repealed. — Ruth O’Neil

Old investigators never die — they just become cold cases. — Donna M. Pence

Old postmen never die — they just lose their ZIP. — Bonnie Sumner

Old verbivores never die — they just find themselves at a loss for words. — Kate Tilton

Old florists never die — they just push up daisies. — Michael Warner

Old Realtors never die — they just become listless. — Dave Zarella

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More pun fun: The fall and rise of the San Diego Opera has been on a lot of minds. Will a leaner and hipper opera company rise from the ashes of its late and lamented predecessor?

I have a suggestion that may help: Create a lottery to benefit this bright jewel in the crown of our community. Supporters will purchase lottery tickets at a substantial price, and the winners receive season tickets. I call my plan the Opera Win Free!

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Back in the madness of March, both the women’s and the men’s basketball teams from the University of Connecticut, in Storrs, won the NCAA tournament. Those superb squads are called the Huskies. Why? Because they represent the University of Connecticut. U. Conn equals Yukon!

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I’ve been following the sad saga of LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling and new NBA commissioner Adam Silver. I suggest that they make up and start a company together. Its name? Sterling Silver.

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According to a recent Making Ends Meet report, 38 percent of working-age households in San Diego County can’t make ends meet. That is, they can’t pay for the necessities of survival.

In the phrase “making ends meet,” have you ever wondered what are the ends, and how do they meet? Turns out it’s a bookkeeping term. The ends signify the end of the year. If your income and expenditures at year’s end are mete, meaning “equal, justified,” then you have lived within your means.

Sound advice for governments.

Please send your comments to richard.lederer@utsandiego.com