Christmas (Old English Cristes maesse, “the Mass of Christ”) is a joyous occasion, illuminated by candles, decorations, Christmas trees, poinsettias, traditional songs and carols, family feasts and the exchange of presents and greeting cards.
The modern Christmas lore of Santa Claus visiting homes around the world to leave gifts for children is rooted in the legend of Sinterklaas. Dutch settlers brought that legend and lore to the New World during the 17th century. The Christmas traditions of trimming ornamental trees and hanging wreaths of holly and red, green and silver decorations have become ingrained in Western culture. As with Hanukkah, we human beings yearn for stories of light shining down upon us during the dead of winter, the darkest time of the year.
On Christmas Eve people exchange hellos and good buys with each other, children want their pasts forgotten and their presents remembered and mothers have to separate the men from the toys.
Let’s have some pun fun with the lighter side of Christmas, a federal holiday since 1870. Here’s the first Christmas pun I ever heard: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missile toe.
What’s the difference between a one-wingéd angel and a two-wingéd angel? It’s a matter of a pinion.
It’s a matter of my opinion that Yule love the pun-filled game you’re about to play. In each sentence below, fill in the blank or blanks with a word or phrase commonly used at Christmastide. Answers repose at the end of today’s column, but don’t sneak a peek until you’ve tried your hardest.
1. On December 24, Adam’s wife was known as Christmas _____.
2. In Charles Dickens’s “A Christmas Carol”, Scrooge was visited by the ghost of Christmas _____.
3. An opinion survey in Alaska is called a North _____.
4. What does Santa Claus do with his three gardens? _____, _____, _____!
5. What Christmas message is conveyed by these letters?: ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ, ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. _____, _____
6. When the salt and the pepper say “Hi!” to each other, they are passing on _____ greetings.
7. A holy man bereft of coins could be called Saint _____.
8. When you cross a sheep with a cicada, you get a Bah! _____.
9. A quiet medieval armor-wearer is a silent _____.
10. A cat walking on the desert is bound to get sandy _____.
11. People who tell jokes on December 25 might be called Christmas _____.
12. An airplane disaster in Israel is a _____.
13. Actor O’Connor, actress Channing and comedian Burnett are known on December 25 as Christmas _____.
14. A Christmas bird dog is a point _____.
15. What do you call it when your Christmas tree explodes? O Tannen _____.
To all you cat and dog lovers out there: Have a furry Meowy Christmas and a Yappy New Year!
And to all you shepherds out there: Season’s bleetings and Fleece Navidad. Fleece on earth, good wool to men!
Answers: 1. Christmas Eve 2. Christmas Present 3. North Poll 4. Hoe, hoe, hoe! 5. Noel, Noel (no l, no l) 6. seasons’ greetings 7. Saint Nickleless 8. Baa! Humbug! 9. silent knight 10. sandy claws 11. Christmas cards 12. cresh 13. Christmas Carols 14. point setter 15. Bomb
Please send your questions and comments about language to richard.lederer@utsandiego.com