Tomorrow at the London Olympics, the world will find out if Usain Bolt, the jet-propelled Jamaican dash man, will retain his title as the fastest man on our planet. Note how the surname Bolt is so wonderfully spot on and target perfect for a human flash, the holder of world records in the 100- and 200-meter dashes.
Margaret Smith Court acquired through marriage the perfect surname for one who has won more Grand Slam singles titles in tennis (24) than any other woman who ever played the game. In fact, at the Australian Open in Melbourne, I have watched matches played on the Margaret Court court.
In the late 19th century, Louis Jean and Auguste Marie Lumiere created the first movies that told stories. In French, Lumiere means “light.”
Names such as Bolt, Court and Lumiere that are especially suited to the profession or a characteristic of their owners are called aptronyms. Believe it or not, Daniel Druff is a barber, C. Sharpe Minor a church organist and James Bugg an exterminator.
It is the famous aptronymic personages that I most enjoy identifying:
• football star Jim Kiick;
• baseball stars Early Wynn, Herb Score, Johnny Bench and Cecil and Prince Fielder;
• golf stars Gary Player and Tiger Woods (woods are golf clubs);
• astronaut Sally Ride;
• presidential spokesperson Larry Speakes;
• Romantic poet William Wordsworth;
• World Series of Poker champions Jamie Gold and Chris Moneymaker;
• American judge Learned Hand;
• manufacturer of toilets Thomas Crapper;
• and (joke alert!) spouse snipper Lorena Bobbitt (Get it? “Bob it”).
While we’re on the topic of strikingly appropriate surnames, it wasn’t that long ago that Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope were alive. But now we have no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope.
Here’s a cute game that employs aptronymic first names: These days, we often attend conferences, parties and other gatherings where we are asked to wear name tags that say, “Hello, I’m _____.”
The object of our game is to match a real first name with a real profession to spark a punny connection, as in “My name is Homer, and I’m a baseball player” and “My name is Jimmy, and I’m a safecracker.” Even more spectacular are serial puns on names and professions. Hello, our names are:
• Alexis, Carmen, Chevy, Jack, Mercedes, Otto, Phillip and Rusty, and we work on cars.
• Annette, Bob, Brooke, Eddie, Gil, Rod and Tad, and we’re fishermen.
• Beech, Sandy, Shelly and Wade, and we’re lifeguards.
• Bill, Buck and Penny, and we work at the mint.
• Bud, Daisy, Holly, Iris, Lily, Pansy, Petunia, Rose and Violet, and we sell flowers.
• Case, Courtney, Sue and Will, and we’re lawyers.
• Charity, Chastity, Faith, Grace, Hope, Mary, Mercy and Neal, and we’re ministers.
Please send your questions and comments about language to richard.lederer@utsandiego.com verbivore.com