To celebrate the holiday, I share with you my limericks about funny monsters:

Tonight, when the last light is gone
And you’re sleepy and yawned your last yawn,
Ghosts and ghouls will come out,
Witches, bats — but don’t pout.
All those monsters will leave before dawn.

On a blind date, two Cyclopes said, “Hi!”
“You’re the ONE EYE adore,” they did sigh.
Now they’re married for years,
And the secret appears
To be that they see eye to eye!

You’re a woman from East Transylvania
Dating Dracula, with his weird mania.
He asks you each night
To go out for a bite —
An experience certain to drain ya!

A dragon with fiery plume
Crashed a wedding and smashed up the room.
Ate every hors d’oeuvre.
Crushed the cake. What a nerve!
Then toasted the bride and the groom!

Those ghosts — Hip, Hooray! Hallelujah!
If you’re famous, they’re bound to pursue ya.
But here’s advice sage:
If you sing on their stage,
The audience surely will boo ya!

Titanic, gigantic Godzilla
Stomped on Tokyo, then on Manila.
Then sank a flotilla,
Then fought a gorilla,
And wasn’t ashamed one scintilla!

The Hulk wasn’t very compliant.
He was mad and annoyed and defiant.
But he happened to pass
Anger management class —
And turned into the Jolly Green Giant!

The Invisible Man came to dine.
He sat right to my left, which was fine.
But his rumblings abdominal
Were simply phenomenal —
And everyone thought they were mine!

We go ape over King Kong. He’s grand.
Biggest monarch in all of the land.
You might think he’s scary,
But he’s tall, dark, and hairy,
And has girls in the palm of his hand!

A monster that took many dips
In Loch Ness grew so wide in the hips.
It was her seafood diet:
She would see food, then try it.
She especially liked fish and ships!

A talented mummy from Ammon
Said, “I make my dad proud and my mom, and
Though a young whippersnapper,
I’m the world’s greatest wrapper.
I play trumpet, and I Toot Uncommon!”

An old Roman skeleton, Nero,
Is anything but a great hero.
Some folks think he’s shoddy —
A gutless no body —
With a body mass index of zero!

A well-mannered vampire from Wheeling
Was endowed with such delicate feeling.
When he read on the door,
“Don’t spit on the floor,”
He flew up and spat on the ceiling!

This limerick isn’t a stretch.
It’s about an unfortunate wretch.
A werewolf pursued him.
How did he elude him?
He threw it a stick and yelled, “Fetch!”

A witch burnt her butt on a candle.
She was angry. It was such a scandal.
She jumped on her broom
And zoomed to her doom.
Went too fast, so she flew off the handle!

An innocent fellow named Tim
Met a zombie quite horrid and grim.
Tim patted its head
Before it had fed.
I wonder what happened to him.

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