Golden opportunities to brush up your Shakespeare

  Brush up your Shakespeare. Start quoting him now. Brush up your Shakespeare, And the women you will wow. –  Cole Porter, “Kiss Me, Kate” Name a play written by Bartley Campbell. Of course you can’t, nor can just about anyone else alive today. Yet Campbell (1843-1888) was a popular American playwright whose giant ego […]

The art of creating puns is a rewording experience

  A good pun is like a good steak — a rare medium well done. In such a prey on words, rare, medium, and well done are double entendres, so that six meanings are packed into the space ordinarily occupied by just three. Punnery is largely the trick of compacting two or more ideas within […]

Enjoy this beastly celebration of National Pun Day

In America, we celebrate just about everything, so it may come as no surprise to you that today, March 4 (March Forth!), pun-up girls and pun gents observe National Pun Day. I’ve been a pun gent my whole life and truly believe that the pun is worth celebrating all year round. After all, the pun […]

I wish you luck in taking this Presidents’ Day quiz

  In today’s headline, note my punctuation of the federal holiday Presidents’ Day, not President’s Day. Why? Because the day salutes all the men who have served as our presidents. I also accept Presidents Day. A number of studies indicate that History and Civics are the subjects in which American students fare worst. Here’s your […]

As time goes by, many words wander wondrously

  DEAR RICHARD: While doing Civil War research, I often read affidavits regarding pension applications made in the late 1800s and early 1900s. A soldier supporting another soldier’s application might say they were “intimate in the military.” While the writer obviously meant “close friends,” the same comment today might imply a sexual relationship. For most of […]

The time of the signs reveals the signs of our times

  DEAR RICHARD: Whatever happened to grammar teachers? I hope the editors of the Union-Tribune (are there still such animals?) are alert for mistakes like these in signs around the world: “Toilet Out of Order. Please Use Floor Below.” “Bargain Basement Upstairs.” “Would the Person Who Took the Step Ladder Please Bring It Back or […]

True confessions of an unrepentant English major

  I’m 84 ½  years of age, which means that over the course of my life, I have taken more than a billion breaths and have lived more than one-third the number of years that America has officially been a nation and a republic.        I write “84 ½” because when we’re little, we say, “I’m […]

The punderful story of Santa Claus and his reindeer

  Christmas is the time of year when people exchange hellos and good buys with each other and when mothers have to separate the men from the toys. Christmas is a joyous occasion illuminated by candles and graced by decorations, ornamented Christmas trees, poinsettias, traditional songs and carols, church services, family feasts, the exchange of […]

Our moonstruck language flies us to the moon

  The Artemis 1 rocket, named after the Greek goddess of the moon, is scheduled to splash down tomorrow after its 25-day mission. NASA’s ultimate goal is to land the first humans on the moon in the 21st century, including the first woman and first person of color, and to explore more of the lunar […]

San Diego contestant puts plurals in “Jeopardy!”

  On a recent episode of the popular quiz show “Jeopardy!,” contestants were challenged to identify plural nouns that don’t end with the letter “s.” When asked to provide the plural of the singular noun moose, San Diego contestant Jack Weller, shot back, meese. The correct answer is moose — one moose, two moose — […]