A good pun is like a good steak — a rare medium well done. In such a prey on words, rare, medium, and well done are double entendres, so that six meanings are packed into the space ordinarily occupied by just three. Punnery is largely the trick of compacting two or more ideas within […]
In America, we celebrate just about everything, so it may come as no surprise to you that today, March 4 (March Forth!), pun-up girls and pun gents observe National Pun Day. I’ve been a pun gent my whole life and truly believe that the pun is worth celebrating all year round. After all, the pun […]
DEAR RICHARD: Whatever happened to grammar teachers? I hope the editors of the Union-Tribune (are there still such animals?) are alert for mistakes like these in signs around the world: “Toilet Out of Order. Please Use Floor Below.” “Bargain Basement Upstairs.” “Would the Person Who Took the Step Ladder Please Bring It Back or […]
I’m 84 ½ years of age, which means that over the course of my life, I have taken more than a billion breaths and have lived more than one-third the number of years that America has officially been a nation and a republic. I write “84 ½” because when we’re little, we say, “I’m […]
Christmas is the time of year when people exchange hellos and good buys with each other and when mothers have to separate the men from the toys. Christmas is a joyous occasion illuminated by candles and graced by decorations, ornamented Christmas trees, poinsettias, traditional songs and carols, church services, family feasts, the exchange of […]
On a recent episode of the popular quiz show “Jeopardy!,” contestants were challenged to identify plural nouns that don’t end with the letter “s.” When asked to provide the plural of the singular noun moose, San Diego contestant Jack Weller, shot back, meese. The correct answer is moose — one moose, two moose — […]
Recent articles in the U-T and Sports Illustrated detail how pickleball has become the rage in San Diego and across our fair land. A quarter-size version of tennis, greatly influenced by badminton, ping-pong, and Wiffle ball, pickleball is wildly popular at my club in Scripps Ranch. During set times for open play here, 32 […]
My hairline is in recession, my waistline shows signs of inflation, and these conditions are plunging me into a deep depression. The other day, I called to get the Blue Book Value of my car. They asked if the gas tank was full or empty. Gas prices are so high that even COVID has stopped […]
If you reconfigure the word safari by moving the i to the front, the new words you form are is afar. Our world-famous Safari Park takes us afar, where we can view a global wildlife kingdom. Let’s commemorate the Park’s golden anniversary, May 10, 1972, with a safari through the beastly metaphors that run, […]
Having written more than 60 books and thousands of articles and columns, I, your fly-by-the-roof-of-the mouth, user-friendly language columnist, confess to be afflicted with graphomania. Derived from the Greek roots grapho, “writing,” and mania, “obsession,” graphomania is “an obsessive inclination to write.” I am a graphomaniac. I also harbor an obsessive inclination to collect […]