I’m button-burstingly proud to share with you a sampling from the billowy bag of Halloween treats y’all submitted for my poetry contest. Victorious versifiers will receive a signed copy of my book A Treasury of Halloween Humor.
A haunted house of additional spooky stylings stands here: More Halloween Poems
Halloween Memoir
I always think of Batty Bats,
A storybook my father read.
I always think of ink-black cats
And boogeymen beneath the bed.
I think of witches on their brooms,
Of spirits rising from the dead,
Of werewolves under a full moon,
And films that fill my heart with dread.
I hunger for that darkest night,
When lighted gourds reveal the scene.
I long for unexpected frights.
I wait year-long for Halloween!
-Arthur Morel, Carlsbad
Life Could Be a Scream, Z’Boom, Z’Boom
OK, you Boomers, Fright Night facts:
It’s Zoomers haunt your housing tracts!
Their screen time/scream time fuse as one,
And new Wes Cravens film the fun.
Their monster mitts leave bowls bereft
As candy-grabs swipe right and left.
TikTok, restock this Instant, Gram!
Or learn What’sApp online, madame.
Chats are Snapped, their Hubs are Grubby,
Ravin’ evermore — and clubby.
Your past fears of being ghosted
Pale compared to Yelps now posted.
But, wait! Who says you’re obsolete?!
HALLOW! to life! E’EN Twerk-or-Tweet!!
-Anne Eggertsen. La Mesa
Sweet Halloween
I gotta bag of Snickers callin’ my name.
Some Oh Henry! bars that beg to be tamed.
Almond Joys sing of nights coconutty.
Creamy, dreamy Reese’s Cups drive me peanutty
Halloween candy, Halloween candy,
If you were my boyfriend, you’d be a dandy
The best time of year for chocolate, it’s clear,
I’m ready and randy for Halloween candy.
–Tina Barton, El Cajon
Hazardous Halloween Holiday
Weird sounds in the night at Aunt Millie’s
Gave visiting family the willies.
My sis said her prayers,
As she fell down the stairs,
And ruptured her tendon Achilles.
-Jonnie Wilson, Kearny Mesa
Avoiding Goblins
When It’s time to go to sleep,
I might resort to counting sheep.
In October, I instead
Go to sleep beneath my bed,
Which the goblins can’t abide,
Because they have no place to hide.
-Jan Flaherty, Vista
Sluggish Bats
Most sites, near Halloween? Quite scary,
With fright-white ghosts and flat-black cats.
Yet Padres’ Petco Park? Not very.
Has only in-offensive bats!
-Craig Steven Snapp, El Cajon
***
On Saturday, November 12, starting at 2 pm, I’ll be performing “Fun With Grammar” at the Alpine Public Library, 1752 Alpine Blvd. /· (619) 445-4221. I love being good for nothing, so admission is free.