Welcome to the website woven for wordaholics, logolepts, and verbivores. Carnivores eat meat; herbivores eat plants and vegetables; verbivores devour words. If you are heels over head (as well as head over heels) in love with words, tarry here a while to graze or, perhaps, feast on the English language. Ours is the only language in which you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway and your nose can run and your feet can smell.

About Richard Lederer

 

In addition to the poems that haunt my October 29 column, here are more monsterpieces contributed by San Diego Union-Tribune readers: 

Halloween Fright Night
Halloween is here — it’s time to face your fear.
All ghosts, ghouls, and goblins are hunting you so near.
The witches and warlocks are looking for fun
By cursing a body—are you the one?

On this night of mischief, the vampires fun wild.
No one is safe — man, woman, or child.
It’s the Devil’s fright night, when evil is king.
So hide when you hear the doorbell ring.

On the scariest night, keep your eyes open wide.
Monsters surround you so please stay inside.
But are you safe from the sounds that you hear?
It’s Halloween fright night — you must face your fear!
-Michele Cass, Escondido

My Halloween Host
I heard a “Boo.”
Then I asked, “Who”?
And, not to boast,
I guessed “a ghost!”

From way too near,
Into my ear,
There was a groan,
And then a moan.

On this dark night
Of October fright.
Whispered the ghost,
“I’m your Halloween host.”
-Betty Snyder, Spring Valley

The Long Game
As a witch, it is my goal
To rid the children of their soul.
In sixty years, they’ll get disease,
And I’ll have brought them to their knees.
I will pull them from their Wheaties
And path them to type-2 diabetes.
With a heart as black as coal,
I put full-sized candy in their bowl.
-Alan Simmons, Carmel Valley

Surprise
Three spirits, two goblins, and also a ghoul
Encroached on the innocents just out from school.
A great shriek was uttered.
Kids huddled and shuddered,
“It’s not Halloween,” laughed the ghosts, “April Fool!”
John P. Yankee, Hillcrest

Halloween Dilemma
Trick-or-Treating guys and gals,
Who cannot see the wolves that howl.
On Halloween night there are many monsters a’prowl,
And when they see people some of them growl.

When I heard of these beasts I almost cried.
On Halloween night I wanted to hide.
Now it’s time for me to pick a side,
To be mean and scary or a good girl of Lakeside.
-Tayah Lewis, 8th grade, St. Kieran Catholic School, El Cajon

Ghosts
We see the unseen
on Halloween.
Ghosts of our fears
may scream in our ears,
but they can’t stay
when confronted this day.
Fly away strife.
We celebrate life.
Deborah Guerrette, City Heights

 Shears In Your Eyes
A black cat sighs
As a pumpkin cries
How would you like to be stabbed in your eyes!
Barbara Sendar, Carlsbad

House to House
A dark night comes at October’s end,
When all your sins go around the bend.
A demoness shrieks from a tree,
And ghouls and witches laugh with glee.
Children will be heard and seen,
As darkness heralds Halloween.

With sunken eyes and twisted smiles
The tricksters trudge along the miles
Clowns and aliens fill the streets
Ensnared in dreams of beggared sweets
Princesses trail of fairy dust,
vixens from the catalogues,
girls and boys, all eyes lit bright
In honor of Walpurgis night.
-Francois Malhotra, Clairemont

 No Twix in This Bag
It’s been hours of knock, knock, knock. Fangs, dripping blood,
spiderman, superman, werewolf here, wolverine there.
The candy’s almost depleted, my sugar high now in the pits.
I reach my hand into a bag of organic grapes. Sense something
moving, something dark and strange near my hand.
Turning fast, a red hourglass crawls my way.
-Richard L. Matta, Banker’s Hill

 Sticky Business

Night falls, and Halloween calls
on kids to grab sacks for candy snacks.
Down streets they race or toddlers pace,
in various sizes of disguises.

Flashlight torches shine on porches,
as from nose to chin, pumpkins grin
at skeletons and things with wings,
or creatures out of Disney features.

I try to guess arrivals right,
but my count amount’s askew if,
there’s no more for kids galore, or
I’m left with a plethora of sweets.

When this Halloween’s completed,
I hope I’m neither tricked nor treated.
-Elaine Westheimer, College Area

 On Being Born a Devil
I met my sister on a Sunday,
Smell of sulfur and blasphemy in the air,
Fresco painting, pentagon star on the floor.

The only thing I have ever done wrong
Is prostrate myself in front of a god
Who will never look at me.
For I too am begging to be believed.

I am the original sin,
Absorbed my twin into my forever yearning mind,
And I’ve seen the devil in my reflection,
From the time I was born an only girl.

I’m an abomination, deformed in every single way,
My eyes are terrified and all-seeing,
But what is a monster, if not a man?
-Madison Gurney, La Jolla

 Ghosts of Halloweens Past
Beware the day of Halloween
Hell’s gate cast open to doom
Beware the hordes of masked teens
And the wicked witch on her turbo broom

On this Día del Muerte
The hideous zombie apocalypse
Skeletons clank out dissonant concerti
Vampires skulk with blood on their black lips

Werewolves roam and spread evil and dread
Parents tell stories of Beelzebubs
Frightened children hide under their beds
From closet monsters wielding scary clubs

All Hallows Eve sings its swan song
Everyone but Goths and kids are glad it’s gone
-Charles Tatum, Point Loma

Let’s Go, Brandon
Halloween’s a bipartisan season.
Makes you wonder — whatever’s the reason
That with witch hunts abounding
And hoaxes resounding,
Brandon won’t dare call it treason?
Emery Cummins, Pacific Beach

After the Halloween Bash at the Bar
The graveyard was merely a shortcut.
Old Dave had no fear of the dark, but
A hoot-owl spooked Dave, so
He fell in a grave hole,
And woke with a cry the next day: “What?”
-John F. Mortimer, Oak Park

 Halloween Scare
A mom walked out with her kid
To make a trick or treat bid.
Street was crowded and dark.
The kid ran to the park.
‘Twas scary the night the kid hid!
-Harriet Wolpoff, Clairemont